If you are a mother, you already know that you have the hardest job on the planet. A job that operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Yet even though so many of us recognize this, many mothers are plagued with parenting guilt – feeling like they just aren’t doing this job well enough. As Mother’s Day approaches, my wish is for all moms to free themselves from guilt and my hope is that this post will help you start the process.
I often ask clients to think of guilt as a huge weight that you have to carry around with you all day long. Imagine how heavy it is. How does it affect your energy level? Do you feel drained? If so, think of how you show up for yourself and your children with that large weight bearing down on you. Now imagine setting it down for a moment. How does that feel? Do you feel the shift in your energy? What would it be like to show up with this amount of energy each and every day?
It can also be helpful to think of guilt as a huge roadblock on our journey through parenting. Guilt gets in the way of everything. We cannot model how to be confident and happy when we are burdened with guilt. Likewise, we can’t help our kids become self-assured if we are constantly apologizing for simply being human. If we want to teach our children to embrace their imperfections, we need to begin by embracing our own.
Finally, we should always remind ourselves that we are all doing the best we can in each and every moment. And when things get off track a bit, we can pause, reflect, think about how we might handle the situation differently the next time and then move on. Because as long as we are stuck in guilt, we stay anchored in the past and are unable to be fully present for our children.
So, this Mother’s Day I invite you to let go of everything that is no longer serving you – especially guilt. I promise you that it will be one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and to your children.
Wishing all of you beautiful moms out there a wonderful Mother’s Day – may you feel the joy and peace that comes from letting guilt go.
“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.”